Soon after her 18th birthday in April she had taken her written and behind the wheel driver’s tests and passed both with her first try.

In June she graduated from Castro Valley High School.

By the time she graduated, she had secured a summer job as a paid intern at Camp Galileo in Oakland.  After acclimating to what a “real” commute was like, she probably appreciated me a bit more, and she ended up loving her job there, getting an extension for a few weeks to what her original work schedule was supposed to be.  She loved working with the kids and the professional educators, who gave her glowing recommendations.

She registered for community college in Oakland and got her classes.  She will be taking 14 credits, which is full time, and so she started looking for a permanent part-time job.

Last week she interviewed for a couple of jobs in San Francisco and Berkeley, but she had been hounding me and nagging about needing a car, even though I was not all that convinced she “needed” one and that it was not my fault that she had chosen a college that was harder to reach with public transportation.  Understandably she was a little concerned about whether it would be safe for her to finish class at 9pm once a week and take public transportation home.

So on a whim Saturday, we went to a few of the places where she noticed there were cheaper cars off the main strip by our house.  We found a “wholesale” place where none of the cars had any Carfax reports available, but we realized that what we were budgeting, there was probably no use in trying to find a top of the line used car, which is what I consider the one I have to be.

Sunday we went back to look at the car that had intrigued us the most, and the nice saleslady walked us through the steps.

I made some financial sacrifices to buy her something, even though she was between jobs and we had no assurance that she would have any income in the coming months.  I was also worried that she was being too picky about the kind of jobs she wanted and wasn’t looking locally enough.  After consulting with a few friends and family members, like my brother, we decided that the car was a worthwhile investment.  So Alex is now the very happy owner of a 2004 Mitsubishi Lancer ES, a car which is actually newer than mine, even though it has more miles than mine does.  It seems to be very safe and in pretty darn good condition and Alex is elated and feels quite grown up with this new responsibility.

One day later (today), Alex heard back and she actually got the job she wanted the most!  She will be working as an activity leader Monday through Friday in the afternoons for the entire academic year at Rosa Parks Elementary School in Berkeley with kindergarteners.  This is a shorter and cheaper commute than she would have into San Francisco, and she is making more than she would be at that job.  She is also considering taking a weekend job with some of her subsequent interviews, since that won’t conflict with her classes or primary job.

Next summer she is also hoping that the summer camp that she worked at this summer will higher her back at a position with more responsibility, so for the foreseeable future, she is very well prepared for the future, and I can’t contain how proud I am of her, even if we are both paying through the nose for the convenience of having a two car household at the moment.

Reportedly, after discussing and using the word “nigger” numerous times with a black woman who called her show distraught over racism in her own home, Laura told the woman that she should not be married to a white man inter-racially if she “didn’t have a sense of humor about race”!  As a white man who was married to a black woman who I was with for 11 years, I don’t think flippantly using highly offensive words as jokes makes it easier.  Would it be okay if Laura’s gentile friends and loved ones go around saying “kike this” or “Heeb that” to her or used “jew” as a verb?  Words like “nigger” were not acceptable during the course of my relationship or at any time in my life, thankfully.  I never even considered using it in any context.  I don’t accept anyone else in my family using it, even if they are black or mixed-race like my daughter.

The only laughter that I ever had about race that I can recall was when I would ask my ex-wife to do something for me and she would look at me and say, “Do I look like a slave?” or when I was dating a black guy and I went to a 50′s diner with my daughter and him and joked that we shouldn’t be sitting in the same area (as per the MadTV skit).

http://abolishthenword.com/

Just got terrible news about losing one of my closest gaydad friends in the world, Gene Baugh, in Columbus, who raised his five kids.  I read his autobiography, although I don’t think it was ever published.  He was a huge fan of the Spanish language and had spent time in Spain in his youth.  I flew to Columbus to be in his marriage to a man in 1998, and he and I also spent time together at various gay parenting conventions around the country.  We originally met in 1996 in Minneapolis and stayed in touch quite regularly the whole time, sharing the drama of our kids and our lives before and after coming out.  He was only 56, and a big bear of a man (also very tall).

His daughter, Ruth, who lives on the West Coast now, as I do, went with my daughter and me to our first Provincetown Family Week.  Ruth and I recently got back in touch with each other and today she emailed me with the news that he had been taken off life support as he had requested be done if he should ever be in this state.  He had a stroke on Friday.

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Despite originally protesting, Alex walked with me to her school and I even caught the early train.  I’m hoping this will significantly improve health/blood sugar.

If the timing and discomfort of walking becomes ridiculous, I might buy a bike and a heavy-duty chain, but right now I’m saving money on that and the one dollar a day parking fee.   I don’t even know how long we will live at this location, so this is not the time to make such large investments.

Yesterday after I returned from IBR from the long weekend, Alex and I did a ton of grocery shopping and got a lot of healthy food, which of course is more expensive.  We went to Safeway and I used my discount card, but before going there, we got some basic canned goods at the dollar store near Mom’s house in southern Hayward.  We got to see Nicholas and my brother finally fixed my windshield wipers, which was something that was scary not to have fully functioning on the Nissan when it rained, but of course now it probably won’t rain until next year.  It was nice seeing Mom and having lunch there after not seeing her for about a month while she was in Florida.

I had seen Rosie O’Donnell interviewed about her family diversity documentary, which I thought as pretty well done.  Rosie is never shy about showing herself raw, and this is sort of what she looked like when I met her in person.  When I was on her show, though, I did not meet her.