Los
Angeles Vocabulary
(Yes, I know I was born there, but
I'm a New Yorker at heart!)
"Laughter is the best revenge
against death!" -- Joseph A. Hayden
Serious warning: I provide
this compilation of jokes because I believe in free speech and non-censorship. However,
some of these jokes are off-color, adult-oriented and intended to be read within their
context. If you are truly a bigot of any kind, then you cannot appreciate the humor that
ethnic groups and sexual minorities can poke at themselves and each other. If you know me
well as you may by perusing various aspects of my home page, then you know I do not
tolerate bigotry, racism or homophobia. Because the following content ay also include
language of a sexual nature, I implore you to select the previous page on your browser if
you are a minor as defined by the jurisdiction in which you live or are offended by the
kind of material which may appear below.
CITY OF LOS ANGELES HIGH SCHOOL VOCABULARY PRIMER
- Decide: "My favorite girls are Wanda and Yolanda, but I
like to keep a couple on decide.
- Data: "At my basketball game the other night, I score a
triple double and my coach said data boy Darnell."
- Copulate: "I called 911 and an hour later when they showed
up, I said copulate."
- Connoisseur: "I says to my friend Ramone, man you really
stink today, what connoisseur did you crawl out of?"
- Coatroom: "The judge said, one more outburst like that and
I'll have the bailiff clear the coatroom."
- Clothesline: "When I came home late again, I found my
clothesline on the porch."
- Catacomb: "I went to the Douglas/Hollyfield fight and sat
next to Don King: man, someone oughta get that catacomb."
- Button: "My girlfriend Juanita bought some leopard skin
stretch pants. I said girl, you won't get you button 'em."
- Beware: "I asked the man at the employment office, is this
beware I find be a job?"
- Battery: "The coach told my cousin Reggie he better start
swinging the battery won't be in the line up tomorrow."
- Bagdad: "I always wondered what was in the Bagdad use to
drink out of when he was sitting on the front porch."
- Assert: "On the way home from work, I always take assert
so my old lady don't smell liquor on my breath."
- Anus: "The policeman told me and my friend Jerome they be
looking for the two guys that held up the liquor store and we saidanus."
- Afford: "I wanted to buy a Cadillac, but then had to
settle for afford.
- Widen: "When my girlfriend, Larina, told me she was
pregnant I said, widen you tell me you didn't use no birth control?"
- Urinal: "After the police broke down my front door last
night, they said, Darnell, urinal lot of trouble."
- Undermine: "There's a fine looking bitch living in the
apartment right undermine.
- Stain: "My sister and brotherinlaw stopped by the
other day, so I asked them, you plannin on stain?"
- Sodomy: "When I go out at night, I like to have a bitch on
one sodomy and another bitch on the other sodomy."
- Semen: "I never did know who my papa was cause my mama
semen left and right."
- Seldom: "I had two extra tickets to the basketball game
the other night, so I seldom to my friend."
- Rectum: "I had two Cadillacs, but my girlfriend rectum
both."
- Polyp: "On my way home from the Piston's game the other
night, I was involved in a fivecar polyp on I75."
- Penis: "I saw my parole officer the other day and he
handed me a little paper cup and said, here penis.
- Orgasm: "I asked my cousin Dexter about the death penalty
in his state. I asked if they electrocute em, hand, orgasm."
- Oreo: "I told my friend, Alonzo, if he wanted my sister,
he could pay me 50 bucks now oreo me 100 bucks on Friday."
- Oral: "My friend Sebastian said, give me 25 cents oral
blow your head off."
- Odyssey: "When I got back from the Windsor Ballet, I told
my friends, you odyssey the tits on that babe."
- Menstruate: "With the fashions today you can't keep the
women and menstruate."
- Manual: "I told my buddy Tyrone, manual get yourself in
trouble if you keep messing with that hoe."
- Letter: "The ugly bitch downstairs came knocking on
Darnell's door the other night and I wouldn't letter in."
- July: "After the trial, my mama asked me, did you tell the
truth or July?"
- Income: "My girlfriend and I just got into bed, when
income my wife."
- Horde: "My mama always did have a bad reputation cause she
horde around in her school."
- Honor: "At our rape trial the judge asked my buddy Jarvis,
who be honor?"
- Homo: "The bitch I'm living with called me at the bar the
other night. She said Darnell, honey, are you coming homo what?"
- Fortify: "I asked this bitch down on 6 MileHow much?
She said fortify dollars. honey."
- Formaldehyde: "The police came to my door looking for my
cousin Melvin. I told them there ain't no place formaldehyde in the house, it be too
small."
- Foreclose: "If I don't pay my alimony this month, I'll
have more money foreclose."
- Fascinate: "My sister Wolanda bought a sweater with ten
buttons on it, but her tits are so big, she can only fascinate."
- Disappointment: "My parole officer told me, if I miss
disappointment, he's going to send me back to the big house."
- Dimension: "A lot of you ladies been calling in wondering
what Darnell look like. Well, he's tall, dark, handsome, not dimension hung like a
horse."
- Derange: "Derange is where the deer and the antelope
play."
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