- Yo mama's so fat, her high school picture was an
aerial photograph.
- Yo mama so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone.
- Yo mama so fat, when she puts on a
gray sweater it becomes a cloudy day.
- Yo mama's so ugly, when I took her to the zoo they
said, "Thank you for bringing her back."
- Yo mama so stupid she threw a rock at the floor and
missed.
- Yo mama so small, she needs a
parachute to jump off a dime.
- Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is
Hostess!
- Yo mama's so ugly they put her in a tinted incubator
when she was born.
- Yo mama is so old she owes Jesus a quarter.
- Yo mama's teeth are so yellow she put the sun out of
business.
- Yo mama so ugly, when she fell off the ugly tree she
hit every branch on the way down.
- Yo mama so stupid she sold the car for gas money.
- Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone.
- Yo mama's just like a squirrel, she always has a nut
in her mouth.
- Yo mama's like a TV, a 2 year old could turn her on.
- Yo mama is so old, when I told her to act her age she
died.
- Yo mama's so ugly they taped "Gorillas in the
Mist" in her shower.
- Yo mama so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
- Yo mama is like Walmart, every day low prices!
- Yo mama is so fat she can sell shade.
- Yo mama's so ugly when she was a kid and played in
the sandbox, cats tried to bury her.
- Yo mama so fat you can slap her thighs and ride the
waves.
- Yo mama so nasty she gets hot flashes at cattle
auctions.
- Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was a
refund.
- Yo mama is so fat that I had to take 2 planes, a bus,
and a train to get to her good side.
- Yo mama so stupid it takes her 2 hours to watch 60
minutes!
- Yo mama's so fat, they had to baptize her at Sea
World.
- Yo mama is like a taxi, the more you pay her, the
further she will go.
- Yo mama's head is so big, she doesn't have dreams,
she has movies.
- Yo mama is so stupid, she thinks the last supper's
when the food stamps run out.
- Yo mama is so poor when I asked her where the
bathroom was, she said 2 buckets to the right.
- Yo mama's so fat, when yo family brings home
groceries they need to hire a rodeo clown to distract her.
- Yo mama is so fat, she's got shock absorbers on her
toilet seat.
- Yo mama's so ugly they put her in a tinted incubator
when she was born.
- Yo mama was so stupid she thought that the Salvation
Army won the war.
- Yo mama is so short you can see her feet on her
driver's license.
- Yo mama so fat, when she falls down she rocks herself
to sleep trying to get up.
- Yo mama is so old, she wears a Jesus starter jacket.
- Yo mama is so cross-eyed, she can sit on the front
porch and watch the kids playing in the back yard.
- Yo mama so stupid, she threw a rock at the ground and
missed.
- Yo mama's so fat, she went into a furniture store and
they sold her as a water bed.
- Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a
package of hotdogs.
- Yo mama so fat, she takes up two Netcom accounts!
- Yo mama's so ugly, when she entered an ugly contest
the judges said, "No professionals".
- Yo mama's so fat, when her beeper goes off people
think she's a truck backing up.
- Yo mama so stupid, she thought Taco Bell was the
Mexican phone company.
- Yo mama so fat, if she put on a red raincoat she
could be the Kool-Aid Man.
- Your mama's so old, she was around when Burger King
was a prince!
- Your mama is so fat, she looks like she's smuggling
Volkswagens!
- Yo mama so stupid, she thought Johnny Cash was a pay
toilet.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she gets her shoes shined she
has to take the man's word for it!
- Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from an M&M
factory for throwing out all the W's.
- Yo mama so fat, she got a run in her blue jeans.
- Yo mama so smelly, she slows down Speed Stick.
- Yo mama is so dumb, that when she took y'all to
Disney World and came to a sign that said "Disney World Left" she turned around
and took y'all home!
- Yo mama is so fat, when she goes out to eat, people
say, "Look at the fat lady! Wow, she's fat!"
- Yo mama so old, her social security number is 3.
- Yo mama's so fat, she was standing down on the street
corner, and the police came along and told her to break it up.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she fell off the family tree.
- Yo mama is so black she leaves fingerprints on
charcoal.
- Yo mama's so ugly she had to get you drunk to breast
feed you.
- Yo mama so stupid, she tried to get a job picking
cotton candy.
- Yo mama is so stupid she thought asphalt was a butt
disease.
- Yo mama so poor the front and back door are on the
same hinge.
- Yo mama so stupid, she got locked in a convertible
with the top down.
- Yo mama's teeth are so wide, I don't know what to do:
smile or kick a field goal.
- Yo mama is so dumb she failed recess.
- Yo mama is so old her dreams are in black and white.
- Yo mama is so stupid she cooks with Old Spice.
- Yo mama is so old, she lived at the Gettysburg
Address.
- Yo family is so fat, I threw a rock in their window
and hit everyone.
- Yo mama is so fat she has to use the driveway as her
ironing board.
- Yo mama so ugly, she scares blind children.
- Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles
popped out.
- Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a fish.
- Yo mama so fat she buys her clothes in only three
sizes: Large, Extra-large, and Yo Mama Size.
- Yo mama's so fat when she walks down the street with
a yellow rain coat, people shout "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so ugly, yo daddy had to put the mirror
inside the medicine cabinet.
- Yo mama's so fat, when she went out in high heels she
came back in flip flops.
- Yo mama so fat, when she went swimming in the ocean,
the Spanish tried to claim her as a new continent.
- Yo mama's so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the
phone.
- Yo mama is so fat, during summertime she sells shade.
- Yo mama so dumb she took a blood test and failed.
- Yo mama's so cross-eyed, when she cries tears roll
down her back.
- Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar power
flashlight.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't pay attention.
- Yo mama so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute
rice.
- Yo mama's so old her dreams are reruns.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she sat on the TV and watched
the couch.
- Your mama is so dark, someone yelled hit the dirt and they
all jumped on her back!
- Your mama is so dark, her nickname is Pitch!
- Your mama is so dark, when she eats tootsie rolls, she has to
wear white gloves so she doesn't bite her fingers off!
- Your mama is so dark, when she gets in the car the oil light
goes on!
- Your mama is so dumb, she bought a pack of M&M's and
returned them because she got all W's!
- Your mama is so dumb, she had to hire a tutor to teach her to
scribble!
- Yo mama is so dumb, she thought Taco Bell was a
Mexican phone company!
- Yo mama is so dumb, someone said it was chilly out, she
brought a bowl!
- Yo mama so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.
- Yo mama so ugly, her face is closed on weekends.
- Your mama is so ugly, when she walks in to the room, mice
stand on chairs!
- Your mama is so fat, to have sex with her you have to roll
her in flour and look for the wet spot!
- Your mama is so fat, we had sex last night , I rolled over
twice: I was still on top of her!
- Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she
was backing up.
- Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint roller.
- Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the
bridge too
- Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one
at a time, please"
- Yo mama so fat, her butt looks like two pigs fighting over a
Hershey Kiss!
- Yo mama so fat, when her beeper goes off, people thought she
was backing up.
- Yo mama so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat in the rain,
people run to her and yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
- Yo mama so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
- Yo mama so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
- Yo mama so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get into
her pockets.
- Yo mama so fat, she has to grease her hands to get into her
pockets.
- Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone
book!
- Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
- Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a
twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
- Yo mama so fat, when she tripped on Walnut, she landed on
Spruce.
- Yo mama so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her
to get off!!!
- Your mama is so fat, she got shot last night, the police ran
out of chalk tracing her body!
- Your mama is so fat, to have sex with her you have to smack
her thigh and ride the wave in.
- Your mama is so fat, she cant wear a Malcolm X jacket because
every time she bends over helicopters try to land on her back!
- Your mama's apartment is so small, I put the key in the hole
and stabbed 5 people in the hallway!
- Your mama is so short, she poses for trophies!
- Your mama is so dumb ,she was driving to the park and saw a
sign that said bear left, so she went home.
- Your mama's apartment is so small, the front door and the
back door are on the same hinge!
- Your mama's neck is so thick, she has to step into her
shirts!
- Your mama is so stupid, she heard she was going to the
super bowl so she brought a spoon!
- You're so ugly, your mama had to feed you with a slingshot.
- You're so ugly, your mama had to tie a pork chop
around your
neck so your dog would play with you.
- Yo mama so ugly, when she's taking a shower, it's like
"Gorillas in the Mist."
- Yo mama so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said
"Sorry, no professionals"
- Yo mama so ugly, she looked out the window and got arrested
for mooning.
- Yo mama so ugly, just after her birth, her mother saw the
after-birth and said "Twins!"
- Yo mama so ugly, just after her birth, the doctor slapped her
mother.
- Yo mama so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said
"What a treasure!" and her father said "Yeah! Let's go bury it!"
- Yo mama so ugly, they push her face into dough to make
gorilla cookies.
- Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped the
wrong end.
- Yo mama so ugly, they didn't make a costume for her when she
tried out for Star Wars.
- Yo mama so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off
the surveillance cameras.
- Yo mama so stupid, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.
- Yo mama so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not
Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.
- Yo mama so stupid, she placed a ruler on her pillow so she
can see how long she can sleep.
- Yo mama so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside,
she ran outside with a spoon.
- Yo mama so stupid, she told everyone that she was
"illegitimate" because she couldn't read.
- Yo mama so old, I told her to act her own age, and the bitch
died.
- Yo mama so nasty, when she goes to the hair salon, she told
the stylist to trim her hair and opened up her shirt.
- Yo mama so poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the
street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
- Yo mama so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the
bridge too.
- Yo mama so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a
"Caution! Wide Turn" sign.
- Yo mama so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits
AROUND the house.
- Yo mama so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read "One
at a time, please."
- Yo mama so fat, I swerved to avoid her in the road and ran
out of gas.
- Yo mama so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
- Yo mama so ugly, her mom had to tie a steak around her neck
so the dog will play with her.
- Yo mama so ugly, when she walks down the street in September,
people say "Damn! Is it Halloween already?"
- Yo mama so stupid, she died before the police arrived because
she couldn't find the "11" button for "9-1-1."
- Yo mama so stupid, she tried to steal a police car because
she thought 911 meant Porsche.
- Yo mama so ugly, the govt. moved Halloween to her birthday.
- Yo mama so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occurs
around homes, she moved.
- Yo mama so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for
Halloween.
- Yo mama so stupid, after she watched the ballerinas, she
asked "Why don't they get taller girls?"
- Yo mama so ugly, she makes onions cry.
- Yo mama so ugly, when she walks into a haunted house, she
came out with a paycheck.
- Yo mama so nasty, her hairy armpits look like she's got
Buckwheat in a head lock.
- Yo mama so fat, the shadow of her ass weighed 50 pounds.
- Yo mama so fat, her navel gets home 15 minutes before she
does.
- Yo mama so stupid, she's got blonde roots in her eyeballs.
- Yo mama so stupid, she got fired from M & M factory for
throwing out all W's.
- Yo mama so ugly, her mom had to feed her with a sling shot.
- Yo mama so fat, if she weighed 5 more pounds, she could get
group insurance.
- Yo mama so fat, she jumped in air and got stuck.
- Yo mama so fat, she can't wear a "X" T-shirt
because the helicopter kept trying to land on her.
- Yo mama so ugly, when she puts her face next to the bowl
trying to hear snap-crackle- and-pop, all she heard was "ARGHHHHHHHH!!! Let's get the
hell outta here."
- Yo mama so stupid, if you give her a penny for her
intelligence, you'll get change back.
- Yo mama so gullible, when she was learning how to swim, she
said to the instructor: "Will I really sink if you take the finger out?"
- Yo mama so fat, if she was a superhero, she would be
"incredible bulk."
- Yo mama so old, she co-wrote one of the ten commandments.
- Yo mama so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and
starved to death.
- Yo mama so poor, they put her picture on food stamps.
- Yo mama so fat, God said "Let there be light,"
right after she moved her fat ass.
- Yo mama so ugly, it makes me wish birth control is
retroactive.
- Yo mama so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair
cut.
- Yo mama so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall.
- Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a maxi-pad.
- Yo mama so fat, at the zoo the elephants started throwing her
peanuts.
- Yo mama so old, she owes Jesus Christ a quarter.
- Yo mama so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
- Yo mama so old, her social security number is 1.
- Yo mama so ugly, she had to trick-or-treat over the phone.
- Yo mama so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
- Yo mama so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down.
- Yo mama so ugly, two guys broke into her apt., she yelled
"rape", they yelled "NO!"
- Yo mama so poor, she can't even pay attention.
- Yo mama so fat, when she wears a red dress in the summer,
kids run after her yelling, "Cool Aid! Cool Aid!"
- Yo mama's smile is like a flower... a cauliflower.
- Yo mama is so fat, she's got shock absorbers on her toilet
seat.
- Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her butt weighs 50 lbs.
- Yo mama's neighborhood is so poor when I visited her the
rainbow was in black and white.
- Yo mama so stupid she thought a Jehovah Witness was someone
who testified in court.
- Yo mama's so stupid she keep getting hit by parked cars.
- Yo mama so cross-eyed, she tried to pick up a dime and got two
nickels.
- Yo mama's so dumb she invented screen doors for submarines.
- Yo mama's so fat when she sat on the rainbow Skittles popped
out.
- Yo mama so stupid she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
- Yo mama is so ugly, a freight train took a dirt road to avoid
her.
- Yo mama's so poor I went in to the front gate of your house
and I tripped out the back gate.
- Yo mama's eyes are like pools... cesspools.
- Yo mama is so stupid she go stuck on a broken escalator for
three hours.
- Yo mama so fat when she died they have to widen the gates of
heaven!
- Yo mama so stupid, you were born at Pizza Hut because she
wanted a "free delivery."
- Yo mama's so fat she needs to buy group insurance.
- Yo mama is so stupid she stood on a chair to raise her IQ.
- Yo mama so dumb, she can't make ice without the recipe.
- Yo mama is so fat when she goes swimming the tide comes in.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at an orange juice carton for
twenty minutes because the label said "concentrate."
- Yo mama's so stupid she tried to kill a fish by drowning it.
- Yo mama's so fat, they had to put in speed bumps at the buffet
restaurant!
- Yo mama is so stupid, she climbed a glass wall to see what's
on the other side.
- Yo mama's glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map she
can see people waving.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she was a kid she could only
play seek.
- Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed at a shootout.
- Yo mama so old she used to baby-sit
Jesus.
- Yo mama so stupid she went to a restaurant, looked at
the menu and said, "Ok!"
- Yo mama so fat, she has more chins than a Chinese
phone book.
- Yo mama was so stupid she thought that the Salvation
Army won the war.
- Yo mama so smelly she made Right Guard turn left!
- Yo mama so stupid when you said it was chilly outside
she went and got a bowl.
- Yo mama's so fat, when she jumps in the air she
gets
stuck.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she asked for a price check at
the $.99 store.
- Yo mama's so fat we're in her right now!
- Yo mama stink so bad, she used Sure and it got
confused.
- Yo mama so hairy, Bigfoot stopped and took a picture
of her.
- Yo mama's so ugly, when she walked in to Taco Bell
everybody ran for the border!
- Yo mama so fat, she laid on the beach and Greenpeace
tried to push her back into the ocean!
- Yo mama's so stupid she brought toilet paper to a
crap game!
- Yo mama is so old she's in God's year book.
- Yo mama's like a stop sign, I see her at every
corner!
- Yo mama so fat, she can't even jump to conclusions.
- Yo mama so old, when she was in school they didn't
teach history!
- Yo mama so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
- Yo mama so fat, the police dog's stopped her at the
airport for having 10 lbs of crack.
- Yo mama so smell so bad, when she used Secret it
told!
- Yo mama so fat, she went to the movies and sat next
to everybody!
- Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
- Yo mama is so hairy, she looks like a Chia Pet with a
sweater on.
- Yo mama is so ugly she gives Freddy Kreuger
nightmares.
- Yo mama is so poor when I asked her where the
bathroom was, she said 2 buckets to the right.
- Yo mama's so fat, she was out walking and the cops
made her put on a "Caution Wide Turn" sign.
- Yo mama is so short she can do back flips
under her
bed.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she asked the operator to look
up the number for 911.
- Yo mama is so stupid that she has to go to the next
room to change her mind.
- Yo mama is so corny her feet are jealous.
- Yo mama's so ugly, she has to tie a sausage around
her neck to get the dog to play with her.
- Yo mama's so fat when she swims everybody sings Free
Willy.
- Yo mama's so dumb she eats Jell-O with chopsticks.
- Yo mama's so poor she chased down the garbage truck
with her shopping list.
- Yo mama so fat that when she won a fat beauty contest
they sang: "There she is... North America"
- Yo mama so skinny, she hula-hoops with a Cheerio.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she takes a shower her feet
don't get wet.
- Yo mama's so stupid when she went to an "over
eighteen only" club she brought seventeen friends.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she needed a token
to get on Soul Train.
- Yo mama's so stupid she couldn't read a book on tape.
- Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate says
"Expired" on it.
- Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a bus and asked
for a transfer.
- Yo mama's so old, she was the waitress at the last
supper.
- Yo mama's so fat she broke the family tree.
- Yo mama's breath is so bad the Department of Defense
bottles it for wartime.
- Yo mama's hair is so greasy she's the main supplier
for Jiffy Lube.
- Yo mama is so dirty she puts toe jam on her bread.
- Yo mama is so fat, she's the same height standing up
or lying down.
- Yo mama's so ugly she makes onions cry.
- Yo mama is so fat, someone threw a rock at her back
and hit her in the stomach!
- Yo mama is so fat, when yo family asks for Kool-Aid,
she runs through the wall.
- Yo mama's so fat, if the world ever blew out, we
could use yo mama as a spare.
- Yo mama so dumb she runs around the bed at night to
catch some sleep.
- Yo mama is so fat, hurricane Fran was just you mama
blowing her nose.
- Yo mama's so fat, she installed chairs in the
refrigerator.
- Yo mama is so ugly she made pigs grow wings and fly
away.
- Yo mama's so ugly, her parents fed her with a
sling-shot.
- Yo mama's head is so big, she doesn't have dreams,
she has movies.
- Yo mama so ugly, when she was a baby her mom had to
get drunk to feed her.
- Yo mama so stupid she went into an antique store and
asked, "What's new?"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to put a
food stamp in
a soda machine.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Sailor
Moon was
about flashers in the Navy.
- Yo mama is so bald, when she jumped in the shower she
got brainwashed.
- Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the periodic table
was a kind of buffet.
- Yo mama is so fat, the time she sees 90210 it's on a
scale.
- Yo mama's back is so hairy, she has to clean it with
"Love My Carpet"!
- Yo mama's so fat, when yo family brings home
groceries they need to hire a rodeo clown to distract her.
- Yo mama's so stupid she brought a doughnut back
because it had a hole in it.
- Yo mama's teeth are so green the grass envies her.
- Yo mama so stupid, she came to the Yo Mama Jokes page
and laughed.
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