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Top Signs You Are a New Yorker
- You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this
means the borough of Manhattan
- You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.
- You consider Westchester "Upstate".
- You think Central Park is "nature."
- You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and
you think it's a "steal."
- You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the
U.S. pay in rent.
- You scoff at the Bridge and Tunnel crowd even though you were
raised in a Midwest farm town with a population of 57.
- You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.
- Going to New Jersey is considered a "road trip."
- You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
language makes you multi-lingual.
- You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "Excuse
me".
- The most frequently used part of your car (if you own one) is your
horn.
- You think Central Park is "natural".
- You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.
- You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you
went away to camp as a kid.
- You go to dinner at 9pm and head out to the clubs when most
Americans are heading to bed.
- You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence in years and
when you did, it terrified you.
- You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.
- America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.
- You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form.
- You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
- You haven't turned on a stove since helping mom last Thanksgiving
with the turkey.
- You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.
- You live in a building with a larger population than most American
towns.
- You don't hear sirens anymore.
- You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air quality
and what it's doing to your lungs.
- Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is
Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is
Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner
is Greek, the watch-seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last
cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite
falafel guy is Egyptian.
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