All posts by Joseph Hayden

Smoking in Heated Rivalry

All the rage over this new gay romance series, Heated Rivalry. It takes place in modern-day Canada, where smoking rates are incredibly low, and it’s about athletes, but they are GAY, so guess what? In the first SECONDS of the series, the first guy you see is smoking a cigarette like his life depends on it. And just in case you think this is “crazy Joe” making shit up, here’s what a cursory search shows about this idiocy that went into this directorial decision:

“In Heated Rivalry smoking is a key motif representing Ilya’s emotional walls, stress, and toxic coping mechanism regarding his complex relationship with Shane Hollander. Ilya often smokes when stressed by his father’s illness or Shane’s actions. Cigarette smoke symbolizes Ilya’s emotional barriers. Smoking is linked to Ilya’s feelings of insecurity regarding Shane. He has tried to quit because of Shane’s preferences, but returns to it, particularly when he feels neglected or that Shane has moved on.” STOP NORMALIZING THIS.

Cat Declawing Ends in California

I’m quoted in this article about the invasive and cruel procedure of declawing, which I’m so glad is almost completely curtailed now in California, as it should be. Unlike spaying/neutering and the removal of dew claws, there is no life extension or injury avoidance with declawing. It is an amputation and can endanger cats if they get out and need to defend themselves, and can also limit their climbing ability. There are several ways to humanely discourage cats from scratching furniture, which is the primary reason why some people have resorted to surgically amputating feline paws.

Xmas Eve Row 2025

Here’s the earlier row today on Xmas Eve!  What a nice break we got between atmospheric rivers with a tiny poke of sun and some blue sky in the distance.  The water was calm with almost no wind at this point, and the temperature was actually good enough for shorts. I adorned my crochet hat from the White Elephant the other day, but it wasn’t even cold enough for it. Still, I wanted to show off how I accidentally matched my pants in that one picture. As you can see, the red-tagged boat is still there, almost two months in.

RIP Marc Harris (1971-2025)

For those who knew my friend Marc Harris (holding their dog on the right in this photo), he was found dead at age 54 yesterday morning by his husband, sadly. We were neighbors in the East Bay that I have known for a good 7-8 years. I spoke to Michael at length today, after texting him to offer an ear. He is, of course, in touch with Marc’s only remaining family, his brother. Michael asks that we respect his privacy at this time. He is handling the situation as well as can be expected. He specifically said that I can tell you that while Marc had some health issues, he was not suffering from an illness, so this was an unexpected death that happened in his sleep.