Category Archives: Gay

Lazybear Nightlife

Nightlife this week at Lazybear in Guerneville.

We’re not kidding when we say we have “box office seats” from the patio of the room we rent at the resort when it comes to events that take place during Lazybear. Here is Shea comfortably in our unit while John Waters’ 1988 Hairspray begins.

Tobacco Control at Lazybear 2025

I would give them a D+. I’m very impressed they did NOT have the cigar event on the schedule this year. Whether it took place unofficially I did not hear.

There was some signage that the resorts and bar used, but I still had to approach at least a dozen people over the week with blatant disregard for the explicit signs that they were sometimes smoking immediately under. Most apologized to me, which I was not expecting.

Here is the pool at the West Sonoma Inn. Three VERY temporary signs (yellow) were there to tell people to only smoke in designated areas, but there were guys smoking on the edge of the pool all week. Some of them told me that they were told that smoking in the FIELDS was okay, so I had to point them to the one designated area, which is under redwood trees and on the premises. I do not believe this location is appropriate, but an accommodation, much like the one at the Triple R in the parking lot. Here is that “designated” area at West Sonoma Inn:

At the bonfires it was EVERYWHERE and while some of the guys tried to stay off the most crowded areas off the sides, but these assholes were smoking combustible commercial cigarettes at Ground Zero. Unbelievable. I guess next year I need to take far more footage and pictures to document better, but I was TRYING to enjoy my vacation.

The Woods, which had the most explicit signs that said “this entire property is smokefree,” had people smoking AT the pool right under the signs (until I confronted them), some of them went off to secret area between fences until I confronted them. One of them told me “it’s just a vape.” What is this? 2017? People actually staying at the resort were also observed by me (Room 4) to be smoking openly right in front of their doors. I guess it was repugnant for them to smoke in their own rooms against policy, but they wanted to share their passive smoke with every passerby.

Many of my friends were unfortunately some of these vapers. I told them the rules generally, but I did not want to be the constant bringer of bad news either.

One of the ironies is that a former heavy smoker friend of mine who now smokes a vape with zero milligrams of tobacco, miraculously, was at this booth. Notice that it raises money for Sonoma Health? Raising money for (gay men’s) health is, after all, the origin of the non-profit Lazy Bear Fund. I also feel that it should not be the responsibility of volunteers and board members to enforce the law in a town that obviously violates it 365 days a year. The onus should be on the resort and bar owners.

I did ask my friends who volunteered and I was assured that they had a STERN lecture to have people only smoke in designated areas, but no one was deputized to actually ask. I was in a long line to get into the Woods and I heard my volunteer friend ask everyone to not bring any glass into the pool area. I asked if he was reminding people that there is no smoking on the property at all and he sort of dismissed me that there were signs. I asked if they were reminding people to respect the signs and another friend of mine in line behind me said he would “rather breathe second hand smoke than step on glass in the pool.”

“Well guess what?” I said, “We can have both!”

Poolside on Pride Day

Twinsies pictures of Snoopy and foster Dolly (fka Penny). This was the day Shea finally got to share his major keto cheesecake concoction. It was well-received and it was a nice way to wind down Pride Day after a sojourn into the city. The dogs, including our two new fosters, really enjoy going to the pool and being around us while we’re relaxing in the warm pool water. It’s nice to have such long days with lots of hours of light to linger into the evenings.

San Francisco Pride 2025

We made it to San Francisco Pride yesterday. This year we were smarter. We took BART most of the way to shorten the trip and make it as comfortable as possible with as few modes of transportation as we could take. I love the rainbow “Dog Dad” baseball cap I bought there. I can imagine places where I will wear it to start a conversation.

Unfortunately not everyone got the memo that street fairs are smokefree, so we didn’t stay long in front of city hall. I wasn’t in the mood to be confrontational during such a festive event, but I did take note of how entitled these people are to take away the fresh air of other people. While the enemy is the industry, some people still lack common courtesy.

It was wonderful to run into our sweet friend Neeraj, who we can always count on being anywhere there is two-stepping! Since it had been a year since Shea and I last two-stepped ourselves, I knew I would be useless on the floor this time. We should practice more.

Tobacco End Game Presentation at City of Hope’s Pride Health Symposium

After working remotely for more than four years, I finally had a good excuse to fly down and see our gorgeous campus in Duarte, California. I had sometimes waved to the building from the freeway when driving by on my way to vacation in Palm Springs, but on this day I had the privilege of speaking about my pro bono tobacco activism at the Pride Health Symposium!

This is the presentation of my life! In it I summarize decades of pro bono activism in tobacco control that I’ve done, but most importantly it exposes so much of what Big Tobacco continues to do to poison humans all over the world. I also concentrate on the strides that have been made locally in the Bay Area in the last several years, but since I started this in the 1990’s it’s always been about fighting the industry worldwide. My presentation is 50 minutes long and that’s after I had to cut it back. I was so honored to speak at the Pride Health Symposium at my employer’s campus for the Board I joined for LGBTQ employees. I gave this in late June for Pride Month, but I work on this issue all year long. It’s highly personal and I’m very proud of it. I can almost not believe I got through it. Thank you to so many for your support!

Here is the official video of the presentation I gave:

I was also recently asked to join the Board of Pride in the City, which is the LGBTQ employee group. My closest fellow co-workers also came from far and wide to support me, which was so heart-warming. I am very lucky to work with such great people and such an important institution fighting the scourges of cancer and diabetes every day!

Kelly took the beginning of my presentation.
Selfie video on our gorgeous zen campus!